When I caught sight of myself in the mirror I thought, yeah I’d hook up with me.

Josh, Beauty and the Geek, episode 4

I’ve not left myself much time to blogg really, I spent all evening working on my Chemicals homework. I was dreading my one-on-one with Mr Holt, but it went surprisingly well. I didn’t burst into tears or anything, although we did have a meltdown at one point where my brain froze up. He gets now exactly how much I struggle with maths related stuff, and that I need practise and baby steps. He also understands saying blah blah blah, now look at that and tell me blah won’t work on me. If I can’t see it to start with I need to be shown it. Oh, and the reason I couldn’t do the coursework on Friday was because I’ve never seen the equation we were supposed to be using in my life. I didn’t have the equation; the teacher thought I did, which explains why she made no sense really. I have a lot of work to do tomorrow in the lesson now. Let’s hope I can do it!

I’ve had a pretty good day, been on a more even keel, aside from a brief dip, I’m ok. I think my brain and heart is starting to except and warm to the possibility in the future of boff no.2. Which is helpful I guess. I would certainly like someone to cuddle again. I’m a tactile person, I need to be touched and cuddled. Thank God for my Teddy bear, (although any takers to huggle me regularly are welcomed!)

I didn’t get to watch The Beauty and the Geek yesterday, but I taped it and watched it today. It was a horrible episode. Ok watching the guys get haircuts and become cute, (all they needed was a haircut really!), was sweet, but what was with all that chest waxing? It’s painful, and they’re guys! They’re supposed to have hairy chest! Although having said that I prefer my guys minus the hair. What was horrible was the sudden possibility my Geek, Josh would be eliminated. I sat there pleading with the TV and cringing like hell whilst they went through the questions. It was obvious Chris didn’t need to be on the show, he had confidence to the point of arrogance, what he needed was a super smart she-geek to wipe the floor with him. Poor Tristan didn’t cut it; she didn’t deserve to go, but rather her and Chris than my Geek. I love Josh, I’d love to wrap him up and look after him. That’s what guys with insecurities do to me, they bring out the mushy side!

Anyhoo Josh lived to fight another day *phew, and I got to run round the living room squealing and yelling with delight. My mum now thinks I’m crazy.

Love and Huggles, Claire