Monday, March 19, 2007

I tried

I wish I could think of something to write that won’t make people angry or frustrated or annoyed or upset.

I tried and tried during work to be fine and do what everyone’s suggested with the whole exercise thing. Even when I got so frustrated at myself for doing something wrong that I banged my head on the wall I still tried.
Then I discovered the plans I had for tomorrow aren’t going to happen and I felt rejected by Person No3.
I guess I’m supposed to try again tomorrow.

6 comments:

Unknown said...

*steps into Marshy's shoes for a mo*
Praps being told what to do by so many folk who just want you to get better is a touch overwhelming.
Trying isn't really going to help. I guess you feel that you're now obliged to suddenly sort yourself out and from this reformed manic depressive's point of view, that doesn't just happen.
I do hope I've not made you feel worse. If I have, I'm sorry.
I can tell you from experience it gets easier with time, but I understand that that doesn't really help much at the moment.

Unknown said...

Well I'm proud of you, and I hope everyone else is too. You tried and that's all that matters *hug*

Anonymous said...

One day at a time, love.

I know you're sick of hearing it but you WILL come out the other end of this. Honest you will.

At the end of the day as you settle down to sleep look back at what you've achieved, even if it was only to get up and get dressed. (Oh yes, I've been there when that was all I could manage...) Don't expect too much from yourself and give yourself permission to feel like crap if that's how you feel.

And if you'd rather not see a doctor try some Kalms to help you sleep. You're exhausted and it's not helping!

And last of all, nobody is angry with you, we are all just feeling very helpless and trying to do what little we can. We've all of us been where you are and we do know how much you're hurting. In the gentlest possible way we're trying to say we know, but you need to believe us and trust us and that's not easy for you to do at the moment. (Desperately trying not to sound like a patronising old bugger!)

Hang in there!

Maris x

Paul said...

Well done you for trying - that's all anyone can ask you to do. No-one said it was going to be easy - you've got an elephant to eat, but you've taken the first mouthful. That still leaves a lot of elephant, but tomorrow you'll take another mouthful, and another the next day, and soon - if you go on like you've started today - the whole elephant won't look so darned big.

I said this morning that we'd all be cheering you every step of the way, and I'll stand by what I said: I'm not cheering - it's a bit late and I'd wake folk up - but I've got a glass of wine and I'm toasting the first step on your road.

Anonymous said...

Your blog and it's comments made me cry. They really did.
Be strong, Marshy, be strong.
Look up a lot.
Keep a record of the good things that happen each day in a private book. Think of an image that makes you really happy. Genuinely happy with no bad things attached, and then use it to help you through the bad moments. Smile.
*hugs

Jeans Pants said...

Why write something that wont up set the reader? It's your blog. If people dont want to read it than they can go read something else.