Lonely Girl, Sandi Thom
Yesterday I spent all day wanting to reach out and talk to someone but everyone I turned to already seemed to have problems of their own and I didn’t fancy whimpering at them. A lot of people seem to have bigger problems than me anyway, and I’m happy to hurl myself into someone else’s problems to comfort than think about my own. I did find someone to talk to eventually, thank you Katie-Jane. I just wish it seems to help.
I’ve spent the day battling with nausea and keeping my mind of track. The first half of my Chemistry double was a fight to stay awake and focus. The second I needed to listen and make notes which were entirely for my own benefit. I made them and after an hour long battle this afternoon I managed to force myself to complete the planning exercise. Last night I stared at the same questions (which I knew how to answer), for 2 hours and wrote no more than four words. I had to get it done tonight and had a similar struggle but at least it’s done.
I’m putting off going to bed right now, I really really need to go to bed and sleep but I’m not exactly eager to be alone with my brain. It’s like having monsters living under your bed that creep out and sink their teeth in at night. All day and all night I get a combination of “why????” “I don’t understand why” and desperately wanting the one thing I know will fix me and help me when I know I can’t have it no matter how desperate I am….. And I’m going to stop right there and put it all back into its little box.
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I know I havent been around. You did such a great/nice thing signing up for yahoo to talk to me and I am so happy you did. Its just the luck of the draw, i promise. I really want to talk to you. I do. I just suck
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