Tuesday, September 11, 2007

If It Makes You Happy, It Can’t Be That Bad

If It Makes You Happy, Sheryl Crow

Hey
I have a happy feel good blogg planned for sometime soon, don’t fret folks, this isn’t a slip back into the Misery Bloggs of a few months ago. But right now I’m feeling pretty low. In short my Dad seems depressed, he’s not happy at work, (and not happy means he’s even more unhappy than normal, which is a lot unhappy), pissed off with my Nanna more than usual, and possibly a little worried about me or just dealing with Mums usual childish reaction. So Dad’s depressed and all quiet and I know he doesn’t want to talk to me about it really.

Mum, well Mum is doing her usual Boyfriend Routine where she disapproves of the fact I have one so makes it BLOODY PLAIN. CAN YOU HEAR THAT? THAT’S WHAT IT FEELS LIKE. She’s frosty, short with me and just making it plain she doesn’t like me being with someone again. Oh and NOW she gets to throw the depression into it. “You’re jumping in way too fast and your STILL on medication from the last debacle”. Yeah mum, you have to take antidepressants for about 6 months after you start feeling better, and guess what I FEEL BETTER.

Things with Richard, are well, amazing. I’m not about to repeat what’s been said between us this weekend but trust me, this relationship was not a mistake.

I’m trying to be patient and understanding with my parents. Dad I can kinda understand, especially now I’ve had depression. But Mum, it’s just driving another wedge between us. When she did her disapproving act about Dom I stopped wanting to talk to her, and we drifted apart a little. Rather than airing her opinion and then moving on I have 3 more weeks of this to cope with. And it’s so depressing. I’m trying to understand but once again I feel like nothing I do is ever good enough. And I feel very very depressed. I’m going to Richards for three hours before work, it’s worth the agro off Mum once she finds out, I can’t stand to be in this house all day with her.

The depression will clear once I’ve spoken to Richard, but then I have to come home and feel like crap for being so happy. It isn’t right that is it? Yes they’re worried, but making me feel like crap? Because I’m happy? Not right. Ever.

3 comments:

Lord Hutton said...

Justin's Roxie's mum is doing the same. Roxie caught her listening in on their transatlantic phone call the other day. Patience, Claire, patience.

Katie said...

urgh that's shocking.

Jeans Pants said...

From someone who ended a realtionship and is now in a new one I can kind of (i stress "kind of") understand where your mom might be coming. She might just be afraid that you might get too caught up with someone and when it ends you could get really hurt again.

But its your life. Parents will be parents. You must do what you feel is right. It's your life and you have to live it the way you want too.