If We’re Trying, So We’re Breaking Free

Breaking Free, High School Musical (told you it would be my blogg title Katie)

I went ice skating today, for the first time in about 5 years. Katie invited me so she didn’t have to go alone and so I didn’t sit at home feeling lonely and full of missingness. I was rather terrified, (to the point of nearly throwing up). Last time I went I’d hurt my ankle a month or so earlier and it wasn’t properly healed so I got round the rink once then gave up because I was in agony.

Despite being more than a little afraid I forced myself onto the ice and grabbed Katie’s hand, (and didn’t let go). Somehow I managed to stay upright the whole time AND figured out to move forwards. At a fairly decent speed. It was fun, I want to go again and practise some more. Next time see if I can skate a little on my own maybe. I’m so glad I went and gave it another shot. It was worth the pain my ankles are giving me now. Thanks so much Katie for today!

AND guess what. My Geek, Josh, won Beauty and the Geek. He won! I am so proud of him, he totally deserved it. Josh rocks! As Jennifer said, there should be more guys like him.

Love and Huggles, Claire

“Vegas isn't designed for people like me...Vegas is not exactly a geek haven.”

Josh, Beauty and the Geek, Episode 5
Oh look a blogg title that isn’t depressing. Yesterdays wasn’t supposed to be either, but Liz and me have been playing Leave by Jojo a lot in her car cause we’d forgotten how good it was.

So today went better than expected, after last night I wasn’t expecting much from today* but I managed not to crash and burn just yet. Having said that the highlight of the day was watching yesterdays Beauty and the Geek, Josh won his first challenge by inviting the most women to his party. Watching him flounder just to approach them was horrible, I felt his pain. Then the delight on his face when he won, and his pride in himself, each episode I get to watch him grow and it’s amazing! God I love that guy.

I wanted to do some drawing today, I desperately need to, but as nothing I did this weekend looks decent I’ve left it. I don’t feel like looking at a drawing and thinking, yep that looks crap. I did do my Chemicals homework, but as I’ll have only got a C that’s nothing to get excited about. My head hurts and I feel fed up. Roll on bedtime.

Love and Huggles, Claire


*I wasn’t feeling very good at bedtime. There were lots of tears as per usual. Then to make it even worse I couldn’t sleep and kept waking up. Normally if I’ve cried I fall asleep pretty quick, so not being able to sleep was even more frustrating.

When I caught sight of myself in the mirror I thought, yeah I’d hook up with me.

Josh, Beauty and the Geek, episode 4

I’ve not left myself much time to blogg really, I spent all evening working on my Chemicals homework. I was dreading my one-on-one with Mr Holt, but it went surprisingly well. I didn’t burst into tears or anything, although we did have a meltdown at one point where my brain froze up. He gets now exactly how much I struggle with maths related stuff, and that I need practise and baby steps. He also understands saying blah blah blah, now look at that and tell me blah won’t work on me. If I can’t see it to start with I need to be shown it. Oh, and the reason I couldn’t do the coursework on Friday was because I’ve never seen the equation we were supposed to be using in my life. I didn’t have the equation; the teacher thought I did, which explains why she made no sense really. I have a lot of work to do tomorrow in the lesson now. Let’s hope I can do it!

I’ve had a pretty good day, been on a more even keel, aside from a brief dip, I’m ok. I think my brain and heart is starting to except and warm to the possibility in the future of boff no.2. Which is helpful I guess. I would certainly like someone to cuddle again. I’m a tactile person, I need to be touched and cuddled. Thank God for my Teddy bear, (although any takers to huggle me regularly are welcomed!)

I didn’t get to watch The Beauty and the Geek yesterday, but I taped it and watched it today. It was a horrible episode. Ok watching the guys get haircuts and become cute, (all they needed was a haircut really!), was sweet, but what was with all that chest waxing? It’s painful, and they’re guys! They’re supposed to have hairy chest! Although having said that I prefer my guys minus the hair. What was horrible was the sudden possibility my Geek, Josh would be eliminated. I sat there pleading with the TV and cringing like hell whilst they went through the questions. It was obvious Chris didn’t need to be on the show, he had confidence to the point of arrogance, what he needed was a super smart she-geek to wipe the floor with him. Poor Tristan didn’t cut it; she didn’t deserve to go, but rather her and Chris than my Geek. I love Josh, I’d love to wrap him up and look after him. That’s what guys with insecurities do to me, they bring out the mushy side!

Anyhoo Josh lived to fight another day *phew, and I got to run round the living room squealing and yelling with delight. My mum now thinks I’m crazy.

Love and Huggles, Claire

"Bed, Bath and Beyond, it’s a big place, there’s a lot of “beyond” in there."

Chris, Beauty and the Geek, Episode 3, Series 2

Firstly I got that from a website I use to help me when I need to know TV trivia. I now have the power to look up what happens in the rest of the series. Crap. I WILL not do that.

So today’s episode saw the loss of one of my favourite Geeks, Thais, the Rubix Cube Dude. *is not impressed. Thankfully my favourite Geek, Josh still remains. What worries me is his partner has twice tried to eliminate another Beauty, and twice failed. I sense the bitchiness, and fear for my Geek. This isn’t what the shows supposed to be about people!!!! I guess we’ll see what happens. Josh to win!!

Love and Huggles, Claire